Why nothing comes up the way i want ? Why i keep hoping for all this to get better ?I keep pushing myself until the limit and the only thing i can say is nobody can see what im going through. Im tired feeling this way, and im tired growing up this way. Why i rather to see other people happy than seeing myself happy ?Maybe i don't have reasons to say or to be happy. Im tired of fakeness and dealing people's bullshit and feeling i don't have no one around me when i need ! what else is new ? right ? The only thing that  i see positive in this , its when im very emotional or not having good day , i know who is with me. People that really love me knows how im feeling by the way i talk, but its very rare people that knows. I realized that my "best friend" i'ts the white paper. That's only thing that characterizes what is on my soul and my heart ! The paper can't give answers but its the best way to see what im feeling, even my head doesn't say the samething as my heart .