Here , the nights are getting longer. My eyes always use imagination. My head is not here.  My thoughts are getting more uncontrol. I noticed that no one can control their own thoughts. Because our thoughts can be our wishes or our fears. Sometimes i just wish this was over. But i just don't see when that will happen. I want to smile and move on again like as before. But i can't because i know this is not over until is not over i can't move foward. This issue is getting me exhausted. I still feel the difference in this house . One big step that i made was the accpettance. It's hard to accept certain things. Before i could have things that i wanted and now the only thing i can say is....things can change. Changes extremely hurts. Im tired feeling that difference everyday. Im geeting used to be like a toy, i think no one knows what i have in my mind in last couple months.  Im tired to get use to " changes". But changes can make us weaker or more stronger. Im tired acting like something that im not. Im tired to show a smile that doesn't exist in me.  I don't have nothing else to say. I will try to go sleep without nothing on my mind which i doubt .